Difficulties are part of life, and we all go through the numerous challenges life offers us. Each one of us responds differently to these challenges and carve our way in life. Some of us respond positively and make something amazing out of challenges. Some of us get overwhelmed. And some of us need help. Our mental strength determines how we respond to these challenges. A mentally strong person wins over challenges.
When a person has high levels of mental strength, quality of life improves, and success is inevitable. So, how to build this mental strength? What do mentally strong people do and don’t do?
These questions are answered in the book “13 things mentally strong people don’t do”. This book is authored by Amy Morin. Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, college psychology instructor, and licensed clinical social worker.
Here are seven lessons derived from this book
1. Say no to self-pity: Hard times are inevitable in life. How you react to these situations shapes your future. Many people respond to hard times with self-pity and victim mentality. They bury themselves in pity, and this attitude of self-pity makes it challenging to transform these difficulties. But mentally strong people respond to challenging situations with gratitude. They replace self-pity with gratitude. They see adversities as opportunities and use them to grow in life.
2. Be grateful: Increased gratitude can improve your physical health. A 2003 study published in the journal of personality and social psychology found that grateful people have stronger immunity and suffer less from pains and aches. They also sleep better, exercise frequently, and lead a better quality of life than their less grateful peers. Gratitude is an important attribute of mentally strong people.
Gratitude brings several benefits. It brings us peace of mind, mental strength, better health, and helps us view life from a positive perspective. It is a divine emotion that can change the way we perceive and handle the situations.
3. Don’t give away your power: Many people blame others when they fail or cannot fulfill their goals. Blaming others is like giving away one’s power over life to others. But mentally strong people don’t give power over their lives to others. When others put them down, reject, insult, they don’t waste their time worrying about these people. They don’t get involved in the blame game. They don’t give up their dreams because someone mocked them.
They just work hard and keep moving forward. With every setback, they keep working harder and eventually fulfill their goals. They don’t let the negative opinions of others stop them from fulfilling their dreams.
Never give away your power over life by blaming others or holding them responsible for your life. Realize that you have the power to shape your life the way you want.
4. Forgive: Another attribute of mentally strong people is forgiveness. When others reject or insult them, these people just forgive and move on. Forgiving others is important because when you hold a grudge against someone, these emotions of anger and resentment limit your ability and stop you from progressing in life. They don’t impact the other person in any way, but they impact you negatively. They stop you from giving your best to life and rob your peace of mind. So, it is important to forgive others no matter what.
Also, a study published in the Journal of Behavioural Medicine showed that unconditional forgiveness results in a longer life span. Forgiveness improves health, strengthens immunity, and lowers stress. It also strengthens our mind.
5. Accept that you cannot control everything: We all like it when things go as we planned and wished. But life is uncertain, and there will be many unknowns. In an average day, there will be many situations out of our control like bad traffic, power cut, and so on. We cannot do much about such situations. When we fret and complain about things not in our control, we waste our energy and time.
There will be many things beyond our control in life, and mentally strong people understand that they cannot control everything around them. They don’t waste their energy and effort on things they can’t control. They accept this and are fine with it.
This acceptance helps us take it easy about situations out of our control.
6. Learn from your mistakes: We all make mistakes in life, but how we handle them is important. Are we learning something from these mistakes or just ignoring them and making the same mistakes again and again? Mistakes are great opportunities if we learn from them.
Mentally strong people study their mistakes and avoid repeating the same mistake. Many successful people failed at some point, but they learned from their mistakes and applied these lessons. This is the key to their success. So, learning from our past mistakes and not repeating those mistakes is important in life.
7. Focus on giving: Mentally strong people don’t expect the world to shower success and good fortune on them. They don’t lead their lives from the sense of entitlement. A sense of entitlement is the attitude where someone thinks that they deserve more and are entitled to more without doing much.
Instead, mentally strong people focus on giving and contributing. No matter how tough situations become, they focus on the aspect of giving. And the law of nature is people who give more will receive more. When we focus on giving, we receive more and grow in life.
These are some lessons drawn from this book.
In this book, the Author mentions 13 things mentally strong people don’t do in life and gives many real-life stories for each quality. These stories are thought-provoking and inspire us to embrace these qualities. She also offers easy to practice tools and techniques in this book which makes it a practical and easy to follow book. If you are looking for ways to strengthen your mental strength, this is the book to read.
Wish you and your family the best!