Bringing up a happy and healthy child is quite possibly the most difficult position a parent can have – and furthermore perhaps the most fulfilling. However a significant number of us don’t approach nurturing with a similar center we would use for a task. We might follow up on our gut responses or simply utilize the equivalent nurturing methods our own folks utilized, regardless of whether these were compelling nurturing habits or not.
So, let’s take a look at the 7 principles any parent should have while raising a child.
- What you do matters.
Regardless of whether it’s your own wellbeing practices or the manner in which you treat others, your children are gaining from what you do. Your child is most certainly imitating you in most of the cases. Sometimes as an adult you might not react appropriately in front of a child thinking that it wouldn’t matter but it actually leaves an impact on your child’s wellbeing.
- You cannot continue pampering your child.
As much as you may love your child, being overtly pampering towards your child could result in them turning bratty or rude. Being told yes or getting whatever the child wants will make it difficult for them to hear a no when they grow up. There’s also a chance for them to become bullies. They child will get used to leniency, no accountability for their actions and get used to material possessions.
- Being an active parent in your child’s life.
As important as not being overly pampered towards your child is, being an absent parent also doesn’t help your child’s growth. Being a parent who is involved in a child’s life requires some sacrifices and prioritising your child’s needs. Being a present parent doesn’t just mean being there for your child physically, it also means being there mentally and supporting them through it. For instance, when any assignment or homework is given to them, you need to help them through it, which doesn’t include doing it for them or leaving it entirely up to them.
- Adjust your parenting style according to their needs.
Understand that a child’s growth is ever transcending. It is always evolving as hormonal and mental changes take place as they start growing. Same rules of grounding or rewarding that have applied during their childhood wouldn’t apply when they are turning into teenagers. So, it becomes important for parents to adapt to the age of the child and their needs as well.
- Have ground rules that don’t change as per convenience.
Establishing ground rules doesn’t mean micro-managing. It means establishing responsibility for the child enough to not cross the boundaries but also giving them enough independence to be themselves and explore the world at their own pace. You can also establish these by setting a simple boundary that lets them stay honest and upfront with you. You should always be able to answer, where they are, whom they are with and what it is that they are doing.
- Understand that respect goes both ways.
When you expect your children to respect you, you should also be capable enough of respecting them. You should give them the same treatment and respect you would give anyone else. Respect their opinions and be considerate and kind enough to listen to what they have to share with you. Avoid being dismissive of them and though you might have the experience, priorities and judgement skills better than them, it doesn’t hurt to hear them out. Always remember that the relationship you have with your children acts as the foundation for them to maintain other relationships.
- Explain your rules and decisions to them, and avoid harsh disciplining style.
Instead of hitting your children or reacting with aggression, it is always suggestible that you explain your child about the decisions you have made. This also allows them to understand your intentions and gives them a chance to introspect themselves. It is a common parenting mistake that parents tend to over explain to kids and under explain to teenagers. As the child grows, they need reassurance and the best they can get is from their parents. So, stop dealing with aggression and start with understanding and respecting.