Love and relationships are a huge part of our lives. Throughout our life, we meet different kinds of people who we connect with and maybe also fall in love with. Although often in the process of being with someone somehow we lose a bit of ourselves and our own identity and it’s very important for us to be self-aware and content to avoid this. Making space for yourself and maintaining your individuality while being with someone is a sign of a healthy relationship. The key is to be your own self and let your partner be themselves. You come together to make each other better, motivate each other to be a better version of yourself, grow in the relationship together while also growing individually.
You need to be a priority, not an option. Period.
Sit down and contemplate. Are you putting effort and feel like your partner isn’t? Do you often find yourselves in a position where you wait for them to acknowledge your efforts? Do you feel ignored and not paid attention to? Do they consciously make time for you or only with you when they’ve got nothing to do?
If you ever found any of the above, then it’s probably that your partner consciously or subconsciously has started treating you like an option. It’s time you take a stand for yourself because you do not deserve to be treated as an option. When you let someone treat you like an option you are giving them the liberty to walk all over you which is not good by any means of logic. Learn to make a sound decision and be completely aware of how you are being treated.
Don’t give up easily, but learn to let go
Don’t give up too easily on anything. Strive and strive till you know you’ve tried your best. They say when times get tough, the tough get going, this statement holds so much power and truth. The challenging times give you the opportunity to build resilience and when you refuse to back down, you not only build resilience but also build immense courage. With every obstacle in your path that you overtake, your courage and confidence soar.
At the same time, it’s important to understand when is the right time to let go of a goal and move on. Realistically speaking you can’t spend forever or an indefinite amount of time over one single goal. It’s smart to set a timeline for yourself specifying how much time you are willing to invest in one single goal and at what point you would be willing to let go of it. This helps you have a time period wherein you give your everything for the goal and ensure you give it your best shot. Make sure you are using all the resources available to you well in this specified period of time to obtain this goal and leave no stone unturned. In the end, even if it doesn’t work out, you will be able to gracefully let go of the goal knowing you’ve given it your best shot.
Understanding their behavior, when you’re around people and when alone
Analyze how they treat you when you are with people and when you are not with people. This is extremely important because it tells a lot about them. Social behavior and social validation are very important even in a personal relationship like this. Be aware and ensure that you are being treated rightfully. It is never good to take something painful and is always right to speak up for yourself. Whatever happens after is a matter of fate, but to consciously make decisions is your choice and you should make it a point to behave rightfully with respect always and also expect the same from the other person too.
Feel bad about choosing you over them?
If choosing yourself over your significant partner makes you feel bad, guilty, or selfish then stop right there. You are not doing anything wrong. The guilt need not take over you because of the patriarchy. You have the right to chase your dreams, reach your goals and build a life for yourself the way you want it. It’s your primary responsibility to take care of yourself and no prince charming or a princess is coming to do so. So get up, choose yourself and live the life of your dreams
Often in a relationship and love, one forgets that they matter. But one need not leave their individualism and identity to impress their significant partner. A relationship is based purely on understanding and compatibility, there is no scope for personal sacrifice to keep the other person happy. You need to know that you, your choices, your freedom, your opinions matter as much as your significant other’s does. So, stand for yourself, and make your relationship with yourself and your partner work. Because ‘You Matter!’