How to confront people?

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Let’s begin with what is confronting, when does the need arise to confront somebody over some issue or even otherwise. Confronting literally means to come face to face with for a certain reason. In our lives, we face and will continue to face different kinds of people. Many will be likeable and you’ll have a happy bond with them, many people will also be indifferent or might bother you with something. What we need to understand here is that not every good person needs to be our friend and similarly not every person needs to be an enemy to us. Hence, confrontation should be for specific people or if a situation seeks that kind of attention. Therefore, we have to be tactful in gauging a given situation and should confront the person accordingly. Below are a few situations where confronting the person becomes necessary and so the person should be confronted politely about the same. 

If the person is a friend/ close acquaintance/ family member and what they do is bothering or troubling you.

This could be a friend crossing his/her limits in making fun of you or a cousin talking continuously about your failures or a close family member putting you down without realising that they are doing something incorrect. The reason why you should choose to confront here is because they are people that matter to you, you matter to them too. Hence, if there is care and concern mutually and the only thing that is bothering you is one thing that the other person is doing, then you must confront. You must gather courage to tell them that what they do bothers you and you are hurt when they speak something unwanted or do something that you don’t like. Speak to them politely and do this before it becomes too difficult for you to handle. If you do this in time then there are chances that when you confront them at a stage that you cannot bear it all, your verbatim might turn out to be harsh to them. This will strain the relationship and you wouldn’t want that to happen. Speak the right things, let them know, speak politely and be honest. The people who care for you will definitely feel guilty and will surely ensure that they don’t repeat themselves. Once they do this, you also forget all the wrong things in the past and learn to live happily. Do not remind them about what they did, forgive, forget and live happily. So, this is a successful confrontation. 

If the person is somebody you know formally or cordially, a boss/ neighbour/ colleague/ Business partner

First you have to be smart, sensitive and subtle. One extra word could cost you a lot at the same time, it is imperative that you communicate and confront the person for what they have done. This is to make things easier for you and let the person know that what they are doing is impacting you negatively. For example let’s assume a professional situation where a boss or the HR sent you a letter blaming you for an issue which is actually not your fault. The best way to confront this would be to write a letter responding to the letter you received at the same instant. If that doesn’t work you have to gather the courage, remind yourself of the wisdom you have and give a befitting reply to the person with the same intensity and seriousness, this might not be your natural response, but giving a wise, polite and a firm response is necessary for the person to understand where they have gone wrong and they’ll not repeat themselves again. It is extremely important to respond, how you respond is a choice, but responding is a must. 

We live in a world where silence is always misinterpreted, people tend to think that a person is silent only because he/she is wrong. Hence, to protect yourself from unnecessary criticism you have to learn to respond politely. 

Confrontation in today’s world has become important both personally and professionally. The two instances above show us how it is important to confront and what are the things that you should be aware and careful about while confronting. Learn how to confront, do it rightfully and you’re sure to get out of problems. Of course an ideal situation would be to never have a situation where you have to confront others. This is also possible, if you are extremely clear about the things you like or dislike right from the start. 

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