How do we look at Marriage!

newly married couple

Marriage is an important aspect of almost everybody’s life. It changes life for every individual for the better and let’s them enjoy the pleasures of life, of love, of having children, of companionship, joy and happiness. There are challenges that come our way, however as we proceed we learn to win every battle our way. 

For very long there has been this debate about whether arranged marriage is better or love marriage is better. Especially in the Indian context with so many social dimensions, love marriage is still considered a taboo. However, as we see more and more people in rural and urban areas do prefer love marriages, where they know their partner well and can trust each other for a lifetime.

However, one must wonder what the whole debate is all about. Essentially neither of them are superior to each other nor are they different from each other. The end goal is the same in both, that is Marriage. However, arranged marriage takes into account the extended family members, the astrological verification and gives a certain level of security to the parents. That is why most families possibly find a sense of security and satisfaction in approaching marriage in this manner. 

Love marriage on the other hand, starts with the two main individuals taking this decision for their life and then involving their parents and other family members to bless them. It is very common to see family members disagreeing with such bonds in the beginning without any practical reason to do so. However most couples ensure that people are convinced of their bond and ultimately get married. Yes, unfortunately there are sad instances where people marry against societal wishes and then so many unjustified circumstances lead them towards a really unfortunate destiny. But, for most of it, love marriages have found a way to be established in every strata of our society. 

We need to understand that, whether it is an arranged marriage or a love marriage, individual virtues of understanding, empathy and love is what is going to make a marriage work. What many fail to understand is that how a relation starts is not as important as how two people take it forward. Hence, the reason for a happy marriage lies in what people do after marriage for years together, not in how they met each other or how they spent their time before. 

Today, in many ways marriage does not mean what is used to mean at one point in time. We live in a liberal society where people are free to make their decisions at a very young age. Marriage is not the defining thing anymore, rather it comes really late into the picture. With dating and relationships people are free to choose their partner and live a life of their choice. However, as young individuals, it is important that we understand how our decisions impact our personalities. A failed relationship or a negative experience in dating shouldn’t make you give up on relationships or shouldn’t leave scars that hinder your future relationships. Relationships and companionship is something we all deserve, but we shouldn’t be so dependent that on an unfortunate day when we break the relation, we shouldn’t be left shattered. Individuality and wisdom along with empathy and companionship are the four wheels that make your bond stronger.  Hence, look at the broader picture and take a call, dating isn’t bad or having a relationship isn’t bad either, but ruining your piece of mind in the process so much so that when you finally are in the relationship that is meant to be, you should not be so exhausted from your previous experiences as it will impact this one too. 

Marriages are meant for longterm, they take into account your emotional needs, social needs, biological needs and other gratifications we seek. However, the base of a marriage can never be just one of these needs. Marriage is friendship for the rest of your life, more than partners, you both should be die-hard friends who like and love each other irrespective of whether the other person puts on weight or loses hair or whatsoever.  Hence, look beyond basic gratifications and understand the beauty of this beautiful bond, for it makes life better and beautiful. 

Many will agree when we say that a successful marriage brings abundance of success in the couple’s lives, when they are satisfied and happy in the marriage, they are healthy and mentally strong to do well in their professional lives as well and hence it would not be wrong if we said that the person you choose as your partner is going to decide how the rest of your life is going to be. So, make this decision wisely, it is not about arranging the marriage and then falling in love or vice versa, it is and has always been about how two individuals work out every situation together in such a way that they as individuals and everybody around them is happy and content.

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