What to do when you don’t know what you want?

know what you want - question mark

In order to achieve our dreams in life, the first step is to know what exactly we want in life. Only when we know what we want with clarity, we can work for it and achieve it. We see and read about super-achievers who clearly know what they want right from their young age. They live life with passion and purpose and achieve their dreams. They work hard with a razor-sharp focus on what they want. Their passion drives their life, and they become super-achievers.  

But many times, in life, we just don’t know what we want. Nothing excites us or feels like a dream we should pursue. Many of us go through this phase, and it’s quite common in life not to know what we want. We don’t know what to choose from the many options in life, and we go with whatever comes to us easily.

We choose our career options based on peer pressure or pressure from our family members because we ourselves don’t know what we want. Eventually, there comes the point in life where we wonder – “what do I want in life?” and we cannot find an answer to this question. It’s confusing to not know the answer to this question, and we feel lost in this huge world. We miss that passion and excitement for life. So, what to do in such a scenario?

Each one of us is born with a unique purpose and calling, but it’s lost in the constant chatter of our mind and too much activity in life. When our mind is too absorbed in continuous thinking and non-stop activity, we miss our heart’s wisdom and desires. In order to know what we want in life, the key is to relax the mind and give a break to constant thinking. This break will help us listen to our heart and know our true calling in life.

Below are 3 pointers that can help you find your calling in life.

1. Start your meditation journey. It’s easy to learn and practice meditation. When you meditate regularly, you give a break to your mind’s never-ending thoughts, and you connect with your true self. With meditation, you give a pause to your mind, and you get a chance to go beyond the shallow pleasures of life and modern-day distractions. When you regularly meditate, over a period of time, you automatically discover what you want in life. You get clarity of thinking, and for sure, you know what your heart says. Meditation is a great tool that can help you find your calling.  

2.Practice awareness in life. When you are doing various activities, observe what’s giving you joy. Observe which activity makes you forget time and space and gives you great satisfaction. Make a note of all such activities and prepare a list. Once you have the list which is built over time, go through the various activities and pick up the one that you love doing it. This activity comes naturally to you without much effort and struggle. It could be cracking jokes, drawing cartoons, writing, singing, dancing, planning, cooking, programming, etc. This activity is your calling.   

3. Spend time in nature. Spend time close to greenery and open space. Take some time out of life regularly and connect with nature. It need not be a far-off vacation to an exotic place. Even a simple nearby park will do. Enjoy the nice breeze, open sky, colorful trees and flowers, birds. When you spend time close to nature, your mind and body relax, and you connect with your true self. When this is done regularly, you discover your calling when you least expect it. 


These 3 pointers will help you find your calling. Key is to relax your mind and be aware of your inner voice. You can choose any of the above 3 tools that resonate with you. 

Once you find your heart’s desire and decide that this is what you want to do in your life, build your expertise in it. Give your whole and soul in making yourself an expert in your area of interest. For example, if you found out that you love swimming, find ways to make yourself the best in it. Enroll in related courses, practice swimming, build your talent through hard work and smart work. There is a huge demand for people who built expertise in their area of passion because it’s a rare combination to find someone who is an expert in what they love doing.

Commonly, three categories of people are seen in life. 

First category – these are the people who are good at doing something, but they hate doing it because it’s not their calling. They continue doing it for the sake of money and livelihood, and they think they don’t have any other option in life. They hate their jobs and profession but work in the same job for years due to their comfort zone, financial gains, prestige etc.

Second category – These are the people who figured out what they love doing but don’t have enough expertise in it and also don’t have a willingness to build the expertise in it. These are the people who complain there are no opportunities in the world. 

Third category – These are the people who figured out what they love doing, and they built enough expertise in it systematically. Expertise in any area does not come naturally by birth. Even the naturally gifted painter or singer or actor built their brilliance over several years of practice. Expertise needs practice, effort, and time. People of this category plan and work strategically to make themselves an expert in their area of calling. Due to this, they have the highest rate of success and joy in life when compared to the other 2 categories of people. The world is full of opportunities for such people, and money and name wait for them because naturally, they tend to give out their best when passion and expertise go hand in hand.

So, take your time out, find out your calling and build yourself as an expert in it. It’s one life – the precious life you got, and it’s worth living life with passion and purpose.

The world is yours to claim.

Check out this great book on finding your purpose in life.

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