Life brings with it some new surprises and some familiar shocks. While the surprises can keep you off the ground, the shocks bring you down. But, is this happening to us, or are we made to believe that this is exactly what is happening within us? In reality, it is a matter of choice, a conscious choice can make all the difference.
The baggage of past experiences is often unprecedentedly heavy and unjust. It has the potency to ruin the good experiences that come your way. The only way to untie this bag off your shoulder is by letting go of these experiences. Forgetting unwanted experiences is an art.
Below are a few tips to move on.
- Accept the emotional turmoil with you
Thinking that everything is fine when it is not is a mistake we should refrain from making. Address the elephant in the room, accept that an experience is bothering you. It could be a break up of a long relationship, an unforeseen incident at work, or instances and experiences from the past that keeps dominating your present. The first step is to confess to yourself that you are unable to forget the occurrences of the past. The moment you accept, you begin to feel a sense of relief. When you are fully aware of the problem, it is not so scary anymore. It is not a scary thought running in the back of your head. It is a recognized problem that now needs a solution.
- The only way out is to walk ahead
Fear and pain are feelings that we are bound to experience. However, if you use your intellect and sensibilities, you will be able to untie yourself from the strings that remind you of the past. Moving ahead is the only way. Think of young children, they are ever curious and are bent on tasting every food item they see around them. If they taste something sour, they drop it on the ground and walk ahead to taste the next dish. It is that simple. If you don’t like something, drop it down and walk ahead. You need not carry it with you. Perceiving and understanding things in this manner can be of great help.
- Do not blame yourself
Because we always have others to blame us. We cannot let go of something if we keep blaming ourselves for all that has happened. We have to be gentle with ourselves and treat ourselves with ceaseless compassion and care. Give yourself the warmth you’d give to someone you care about. When we are liberal with ourselves we find it easy to let go of experiences from the past. Another emotion you must avoid is guilt. Why feel guilty when it is not your mistake. Avoid these negative emotions and you will find that it is smooth and happy.
- Don’t wait for anybody or anything to change
Waiting for the wrong reasons or the wrong people is never worth it. It only means that the other person does not value you or your time. Hoping that the other person will realize their mistake one day and apologize to you is only going to hurt you more. Letting go of unwanted people gives you a different feeling of freshness, it makes you ready to welcome new people and new experiences to make your life as bright and beautiful as you wanted it to be.
- Every mistake is a lesson learned
Fixating on your mistakes prevents you from taking the right steps. Learn from your mistakes and you will be over the situation. Refrain from constantly reminding yourself about how horrible you feel. This repetitive thinking causes harm and keeps you far away from peace. Do not feel guilty for what happened in the past, because it has already happened, it is over. Let go and focus on today. Today is a gift and that is why it is called the present. Enjoy the beauty of the present and this can ensure that your future is happy and gratifying.
- Learn to take help
There could be times when you cannot handle it anymore. Open up to a trusted few and share your feelings. They could guide you and help you get out of that zone. If you still feel stuck then could take professional help, seek counsellors and let them know how difficult and uneasy you feel about your experiences. Just remember that there is always a way out, as long as you believe in it.
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”- Roy T. Bennett