self help

There’s a quote by Fred Van Amburgh which says “All the advice in the world will never help you until you help yourself” Self-help is undoubtedly one of the best ways for humans to counsel and guide themselves. By nature, many of us find it rather easy to ask for help from others or to depend on them. However, most of the advice others give will not help you unless you help your way through it. 

Below are FIVE key questions that you could ask and help yourself through some regular yet difficult situations that bother us. Asking questions to yourself is known to improve your mental well being as you know the beginning and end of everything that you do and this will help you bring in the change that you seek. 

  1. What if it works out? 

We always tend to frame every decision with the question what if it doesn’t work out? But what if it works out? How will it be when you succeed? This question is your go-to hack to reduce pessimistic tendencies inside your mind. Replace all your why’s with why not? Our pessimistic tendencies succeed in successfully demotivating us from taking up new challenges and embracing new situations. Results are never guaranteed, but they are a response to your efforts.  Focus on your efforts and just perform your tasks as the situation demands. Overcoming our negative thoughts is a day to day exercise and you have to ask this yourself every time you feel overburdened or low.

  1. Am I the cause for everything that is happening in my life?

Do not carry the crown of guilt. It is horribly heavy and curbs your ability to be free-spirited. Things may go wrong and we cannot possibly control the world around us. Asking yourself whether you are at cause for everything that is happening around you is going to help you cast aside the guilt. There are things that are not in your control and so you have to learn to let go and ease the burden. Being free-spirited and wise gives you confidence and helps you think and perform better in all your tasks. 

  1. What’s the way out?

When problems hover in your life, it feels natural to think, Why me? Why is this so difficult for me? However, these questions just help you toil around the problem for a longer duration. No matter how difficult a situation is, try to focus on the solution and ask yourself what’s the way out? Every lock has a key and so every problem has a solution. Knowing this, focus on the solutions and nothing remains a challenge thereafter. 

  1. How do I compete with myself?

Everybody starts at their own pace and ends at their own pace. If we start to compare our achievements with our peers and our friends we are sure to feel disturbed and unpleasant. While they can be sources of inspiration, they are never your competition. You are your only competition. Compete with your own self and nobody. Ask yourself how can you be better at what you do, everyday? How can you make a difference in your life through your actions and decisions? People with this attitude reach great heights of success. 

  1. What is it that is disturbing me at the moment?

Many of us struggle to overcome some of our negative inner virtues like confusion, lack of certainty, lack of direction and purpose in our lives, pessimistic attitudes and cynicism. You could call these your inner enemies. These qualities bring us down and steal the shine that we have. The easiest way to overcome these qualities is not by seeking solutions outside, but by asking this question yourself as to what is disturbing you at the moment?  Catch the thief red-handed and you will find it easy to find solutions. 

Each of these questions gives you the answers to your situation. The difficult part here is not finding the answers, it is to keep your mind steady enough to ask these questions when such situations arise or when such thoughts crop up in your mind. Every time you feel something unpleasant, remember to ask these questions and your mental health will surely thank you later.

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